by Stephen Moreton, Head of Performance at Trigger Movement
When we are surrounded by negativity, fear and doubt — it is essential to focus on what we are actually brilliant at.
I don’t know if this is just me, but I was brought up to believe that we are all born with the potential to be brilliant. I won’t go too deep, but, if we didn’t have potential, what exactly would be the point..?
Ask yourself this question: What are you brilliant at?
Better than anyone you know? When a group gets together, what is it that you bring to the table? Is it your insight? Maybe it’s your humour, your bravery, your courage, or your ability to analyse and identify opportunities? One of the exercises we ask people to do during our Mindset for Leading course, is to explain to the group what their greatest strengths are as a leader. Do you know what happens? …
Silence.
People look around the room sheepishly and often look down, away from each other, shy of being the first person to be “arrogant” enough to say what they are brilliant at. Just think about how ridiculous this is. What do you think happens when we ask, “hey, let’s go around the room and mention one or two areas you’d like to develop in yourself or your leadership?” Straight away people jump in and are only too happy to share their weaknesses, or things they need to improve. Of course, we don’t let anyone do this, but it helps illustrate the point:
People are more accepting and willing to admit their weaknesses, than their strengths
To me, it really comes down to self-awareness. If you truly understand who you are, and who you are becoming — you learn to accept what you are brilliant at, and what you struggle with. So rather than listening to your boss, your partner, your parents, your coach or your teacher continually reinforce your limiting beliefs, you develop a resilience in yourself that no-one can shake. This is confidence. Not arrogance, but confidence.
To illustrate, I’m going to share some of my story.
I came from an Irish family, was educated in Birmingham (UK) and never wanted for much — now I believe it is my responsibility to recognise how lucky I am to have the opportunities I’ve had, and make the most out of them. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to come from a two-parent, supportive household, be educated well and play lots of sport — so I’ve had a greater opportunity than most to explore my different interests and abilities and find something that I believe is both my passion and my purpose in life.
You could stand back and say ‘I’m lucky’ — but I’ve worked pretty hard to find out what I’m good at, and what I’m absolutely rubbish at too! I can’t remember at any point in education, going beyond the skills and talking with teachers, or other students about who we were as people, who we admired, what we aspired to become. We were all far too busy trying to pass the next test, and get a good grade. Never were we encouraged to develop our self-awareness, with the result being that a lot of people I’ve met are doing jobs they don’t like and aren’t close to fulfilling their potential.
Selfishly, my ego and I have always held the belief that I could trigger a positive impact in people’s lives, which is why I am so attracted to coaching and strategy. I learned through sport, that I could help people see things clearly, to understand themselves, to understand their contexts, to make better decisions under pressure and surprising even to me, to help them become better people — the people that they ultimately want to become.
It was through sport, and particularly through coaching that I was able to get out of a dark place following the sudden death of my dad 10 years ago. A friend needed help with a sports team, knew I wasn’t up to much (other than gambling too much, drinking too heavily and generally being an a**hole) and asked me to get involved. Little did I know, that I’d fall in love with it and go on the journey I have. Over that time, I have coached international athletes, mentored and tutored international coaches, won some trophies as a player and a coach, built fantastic relationships, and coached people in managerial roles or running businesses. By no means have I gotten everything right. In many cases I have over-stepped the mark, and sometimes communicated or behaved in ways that haven’t had the desired result. But each and every time I have tried to learn and improve.
When I allow myself the time to reflect, it’s brilliant to be able to look back on all of that and know that I’ve impacted positively on many people’s lives, and helped steer some away from the ‘dark places’ I visited briefly.
What I have been able to find is my true purpose, and through this, understand my strengths. I’ve no problem speaking in front of people, saying what I think, or motivating others — but really, my greatest strength lies in seeing the potential in people, sometimes when they can’t see it themselves, and guiding, facilitating and inspiring them to be bold enough to chase and fulfil their dreams. This is either collectively as a team, and understanding what the group of people are capable of delivering, or with an individual who needs support, a sounding board and sometimes brutal honesty to help them progress.
It has been incredibly liberating and enjoyable for me to have found something that I love to do, and something that I am brilliant at. To also have the opportunity to create an income from it is the icing on the cake.
Understanding and finding your purpose and then accepting your strengths as much as your weaknesses is hugely comforting and powerful. It is easier to find flow and be productive; to fit into a team environment, and far easier to contribute effectively to a group or organisation.
So. I have shared what (I believe) I am brilliant at. Why don’t you? Take a minute to jot down your greatest strength(s) in one sentence, or in three bullet points — whatever comes most naturally to you.
For some of you, it will come easily — and if it does you should be proud, I hope you are making best use of your strengths, every day.
For those of you that find it more difficult, or maybe you are too shy to say it out-loud, I want you to humour me and try a couple of things:
- Speak to 5 people who know you best — your boss, your peers, your team, your parents, your best friends, your partner and ask them: ‘out of everything, what is it about me that makes me brilliant?’ You might start to see a pattern…
- If that doesn’t work, then you’re going to have to work a bit harder. Why not write down 10 things that you either love to do, or want to try. Give yourself a reasonable period of time, and go and do them. In the moment ,or after the moment, take some time to reflect and think, ‘why did I enjoy that so much? What is it that I’m brilliant at?’
Failing that, please come and chat — I’d love to help.
Stephen
About the author
Stephen’s passion is to develop performance. He led the Cricket Ireland Coach Education & Development for 6 years and was appointed Head Coach of the National Women’s Team. Since leaving in 2015, he completed an MBA in International Sports Management and started up his own consultancy, Trigger Movement. He has completed leadership and digital projects with clients such as Telefonica, CMRF, professional services firms and UK Learning and Development companies.
